if he was still alive

I called and talked with my mom last night. She lives in a care facility in Richmond, VA. I mentioned that I had been thinking about my dad. She said she had too. Yesterday would have been my dad's 84th birthday. This fall it will be 10 years since he passed away. In our conversation mom asked something that I'd never really thought about. She asked: "What do you think dad would be like now if he was still alive?" I stumbled to come up with an answer. In the early hours of this morning while I tried to sleep , repeatedly this question popped into my mind. My dad and I didn't communicate particularly well together. But as he battled cancer in his last year of life, our relationship took a different turn. He was afraid to be in the hospital alone. So whenever he went, he wanted me to stay in his room with him, and I did. It was odd for me to see this man whom I had always seen as so strong looking to me for assurance. I'm so grateful that as an adult I finally was able to tell him I loved him. I don't ever remember doing that when I was young. He died on Thanksgiving Day. I was standing beside his bed holding his hand when he departed this world for the next. Though I have trouble envisioning what he might be like if he was still alive here on earth (I'm not sure why I struggle with this) I'm glad I know that when my dad needed me, I was there for him. As his health was failing, he repeatedly told people there was one thing he could count on: "Michael will make sure I'm taken care of right." I take peace in that.